have these two ever appeared here before? i don't think so. their story is long and i dont have the energy to explain it right now. basically they're storybook characters: girl is Zinaida, deer fuck is Pseudomorph.
*cough i'm whining below feel free to tune out*
anyway i got the feeling me uploading art is going to happen less frequently. mostly because i've been very unhappy with myself and what i've been making, and it's about the point where i need to decide if i should even fucking bother with this '''art''' i've been making or do something else with my life.
to be honest, i kinda liked some aspects of this when i'd freshly finished it, but through a combination of outside forces and this deep rooted self-loathing i got, i now hate it. loathe it. and what's the point of bothering if i can never enjoy what i make? it's pointless.
so of course i turn to the internet. i think those closer to me are kinda worn thin on my art; the reactions are slim, and aren't what they used to be. could be my paranoia,, i don't know.. if that is the case, though, i don't blame them. i just need too much reassurance and validation, more than what is beyond humanly possible to give. and what's bizarre to me is that i don't believe i am deserving of those things. so why is it such a big deal when i don't get them is beyond me. it really shouldn't bug me.
i confuse myself.
*cough* anyway things'll also be slow because school starts tomorrow and my free time is gonna shrivel and die.